Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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