it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
