Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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