No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
