i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There r osticjed everywhere
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
