i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
