are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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