i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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