i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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