thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize