In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The power of my boobs compel you
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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