i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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