arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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