I think im going to throw up on grandma
i can't believe i had my finger in that
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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