i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
