I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
