talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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