i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
