i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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