Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
