Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
