We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
