this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize