remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
