butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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