i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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