I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
