meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize