i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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