Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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