Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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