32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
