did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
you made out with another girl for some wings
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
