now i know why i became what i already was.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
