508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
