This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
