Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
