5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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