butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize