I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
