Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
