Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize