TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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