Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
