I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
