apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize