Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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