bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She said her name was "party"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
this will be a night to untag.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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