You're a womanizer and a bitch.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she smelled like a LAN party
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize