then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
