The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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