dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
