good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
