Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize