brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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