I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Girls should come with a carfax report
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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