We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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