my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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