turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
