Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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