Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
