I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
