Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
