Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She even gives head with a lisp.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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