There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she pinky promised me she was 18
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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