Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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