the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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